so, retrieval was yesterday, and they got 17 eggs! of course, not all of them are mature enough, and between that and my age, I'm certain that it won't be a whole baseball team of embryos, but I'll have the initial fertilization report later today. other than the fact that I feel like my lower abdomen is a gas chamber, the process was painless and easy. I have an acupuncture appointment this afternoon and likely one on the day of transfer; otherwise, it's life as usual.

she aims, she shoots

yea! I got to do my trigger tonight, which means that I'm having the egg retrieval on friday morning. there were 14 juicy follicles, a couple on the small side, but some nice ones too. this is where it now starts to get complicated and question-filled: will they fertilize? will just one pretty please implant and grow into a baby? be healthy? remember to say thank you and look before crossing the street? ooh, I guess I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

shooting up

dear heavens, I've been remiss!!!

so, yes, I'm on the bandwagon...4 injections each day, and I'm loving it. 

yes, you read that correctly. I get to do 2 injections in the morning and 2 more in the evening, and you'd think it was mint chip ice cream or a beach vacation the way I look forward to it, but it's true. they don't hurt, they bring me closer to the potential of pregnancy and parenthood, and I love having a new skill. 

so far, I don't think they've made me moody -- unless skippity and giddy count as moody -- though my belly looks a bit battered from all the needles. I also am feeling good about the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services I led, together with a first-year student from my school, and glad now for the beauty of autumn and a few more days off from school. 

ah, pills!

Trying to get pregnant, modern era: So it's been a year, and of course I've read all there is to read about tummy time and swaddling and eating pineapple for implantation, and raising baby on a budget, and FertiliTea, and whatever else I think might bring forth the angels of conception, because just waiting has lost its shine at this point. So what brings forth a moment of excitement this morning, coffee in hand? 

"Oh! I haven't yet taken today's birth control pill!"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the one thing I can do right now to get pregnant is Take Birth Control. Modern livin' -- funny, ain't it? 

Well, we may be onto something here! I reached the start of this cycle, and I'm happily popping birth control pills in preparation for the IVF. My RE's office gave me a lovely little booklet about the various stabbing instructions for the injections, which I'll start sometime in a week or so, I think. Four each day --

Meanwhile, I'm in the midst of various school-year things starting. We just had a good week of pre-high holiday learning, and this afternoon I'm headed with my friend N and her 2-month-old painfully cute son A to a retreat at a camp in NH with my school. This is my last year in school, and already I'm nostalgic about each 'last' thing... 

happy birthday, Julia Child

Two topics: one, blood work. two, Julia Child. (no, not the spy thing, which I've actually not read about yet) 

blood work: FSH= 4.59, so that's super! and my estrodial was 60, also good. Now, I'm on to the C.lomid Challenge, popping pills for 5 days.

Julia Child: Today would have been her 96th birthday, so of course I'm having a Shabbat birthday dinner of her recipes in her memory. Since it's a summer evening, I'm going simple: chicken sauteed in white wine, and a nice salad with a simple vinaigrette. And certainly, wine to drink! I'm in the middle of listening to her book, My Life in France, so it's perfect timing.

Westfalia: ok, this is the third topic. A 1991 VW Westfalia in great condition is what I'd like for my graduation next year. A lot to hope for, but there it is. 

welp, I'm hoping I'm getting back on the track. after waiting for 2 months, my uterus decided to shed its lining, so today I went to get preliminary bloodwork done, and I'm not at home, biting my nails and hoping for good numbers.

Clomid and the Cape

Well, I've not had much to report, but a friend just noted my lack of blogging, and having interested readership is the best, so here I am! Apparently my body wanted to test my patience, so I'm still waiting to do the Clomid Challenge (no, it doesn't involve laundry, just testing my egg production), which if things go well should be in about 11 days, and then the cycle that I would actually do the IVF! It will be interesting to juggle all the ultrasound wanding of my uterus and associated neighborhood, the needles in my belly, together with the first weeks of school and my internship and preparing to lead services for the high holidays...

In other news, things are going well with H -- we went on our first little vacation together, to the Cape (i.e. Cod), and had a super time. We rented our friends' house in Chatham, but mostly enjoyed my familar haunts of Wellfleet, Cliff Pond in Nickerson State Park, and Provincetown, beach and town. Kayaking, swimming, good food, and fun people-watching. Strange, though, it was family week in P'town -- for LGBT families -- and yet there were tons of straight families. Like you'd expect at a baseball game, regular ordinary straight. Tons of 'em! I didn't love it. We did, however, have a couple of friendly brief encounter conversations with a sweet gay couple and their two sons, and I decided that I would love to be friends with a gay couple and their kids. I know it sounds commodifying of me, but I really like men, and frankly gay men who are parents have just the right combination of manly and sweet. It didn't hurt that they live in California; too bad I don't know their last names.

can I use that timer below for all of my posts? last month's good-girl waiting didn't seem to be the ticket to pregnancy, alas. on to IVF! 

so, in order to get things clear, I just went to the financial office at my RE  -- and they were fabulous -- to find out what was what with some billing confusion and with pursuing this IVF, and it turns out that I need to do yet another test that it's too late to do in order for me to do IVF next month (had to take this month off because I needed to do tests before getting insurance approval), so I now have an added mandate to get in total shape this summer, before going for the IVF in August. 

so that's what I'm going to be up to -- getting my body in shape, getting my leftover schoolwork done, and generally getting more ready to be in my life successfully! I know, it sounds like new year's day resolutions...

well, it's one thing to think that people will read my blog in the first place, but if I don't write anything, well, sheesh. what do I expect? 

so I will now let you in on my last week: lots of waiting. it's really not all that exciting. I did my taxes today (at last!), and I'm glad to report that I'm getting a nice refund, and I did enjoy watering my garden, which is very very satisfying. for 13 years in my old apartment, I had a perennial garden that I loved, including some plants that I miss very much (sappy but true). my new apartment is in a more urban neighborhood, without a lovely grassy yard for a perennial garden, but I have a wonderful little patch about 3' x 6' where I've planted my first adult vegetable garden. and the planties are thriving!!! broccoli, tomatoes, beets, eggplant, onions, nasturtiums, parsley, basil, mint (yes of course it's in a pot!), red bell peppers, lettuce, sage, thyme, rosemary, and sunflowers for fun in the back. hey! I have all of the simon and garfunkel herbs!

I've decided to wait until 15 DPO this month, and today is 13 DPO, so I'm getting there. it's not the waiting that's so hard, it's the not knowing. tomorrow I'm driving to NYC to spend the day with my friend A, which will be great, and a good distraction; then I drive home, go to sleep, and POAS the next morning. so very much hoping for good news...stay tuned.