Saturday, January 8, 2011

hair

who am I kidding? of course this blog will be full of cancer details. so, I am thinking about hair -- i.e. what to do without it. while I was thinking of just going bold and bald, I think it would be great to have some hair options, and currently I'm thinking I will do this my-own-hair thing with a company that makes a hairpiece of your own hair that you can wear under any hat (and have your own hair peeking out at the bottom). I went from no vanity to total vanity in about one day. the thing that is good is that (if my insurance has it) insurance covers wigs for cancer! I was at a knitting store today, and though I've avoided hats like the plague for fear that they'll make my hair flat and/or fuzzy (Jewish hair), apparently I look good in hats -- who knew? anyway, I am going to knit a couple for the winter, and we'll see about the summer. but clearly there will be a time when I have just very very short hair from cutting it off (and I have shoulder-length curly hair) to send to the hathair-makers, but my hair wig won't have come in. hmm.

Friday, January 7, 2011

sharp turn

Alas, it seems that random musings on life with a toddler are going to take an unexpected turn for me: in November, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. and while I don't intend to make this a blog of cancer details, clearly that is going to fill a lot of my life this year. this diagnosis comes on top of my stepdaughter's recent major orthopedic surgery -- which though a lot of work now, should result in better walking for her in a few months, and Nina's just-diagnosed nut allergy...

As for me, I am overwhelmed but ok with appointments, a bit of surgery (more to come), trying to learn more about this cancer and how to deal with it (hair, nutrition, complementary care, how to ask for help, what to expect), and wanting to get our homelife in more order. A friend said that that part was like organizing your photos before you go on a trip or wanting to clean every micron of your house before Passover (i.e. "it's in your head, not to worry") -- but really, for me, I know this is a part of my entering and moving through this cancer with greater calm and beauty at home. I've been neglecting this blog, and not writing so much even when I wasn't neglecting it, but one thing I want to do this year is to reflect outwardly a bit more, have more conversation with folks in blogworld, and enrich my life in many ways.